The Role of a Funeral Director

When making funeral arrangements, the family is usually handing over an overwhelming responsibility to a complete stranger. Although dedicated and professional, it is important to know exactly how the Funeral Director will serve the family in there time of need. To give a general veiw of what should be expected from a Funeral Director, we have described their role as five basic functions:

Master of Ceremonies

This is, for most people, the image of a Funeral Director with the traditional black suit, top hat, very formal in their approach, style, and manner. Although attitudes towards funerals have become more relaxed and imformal in recent years, some people will still expect the old traditions and customs. For those who attend the service, this image of Funeral Director is all they see. Funeral Directors tend to be portrayed as serious and sombre people, when in fact they are just like everyone else. The reader will need to liase between the Funeral Director and the family. This is an important and sensitive role.

Custodian of the Body

Another role that the family would expect a Funeral Director to perform is looking after the deceased person in the Funeral Home. Almost everyone is concerned how his or her loved one will be cared for at the Funeral Home. The fundamental role of a Funeral Director is to care for the deceased and to ensure they are looked after in a dignified and respectful manner. This can envolve the Laying Out, which means general washing, grooming and dressing proir to the body being placed in the coffin. In some Funeral Homes, Embalming is another procedure the Funeral Director may perform. The Funeral Director will provide a Chapel of Rest for the family to come and visit their loved one before the funeral. This will give them the opportunity to say good-bye, and help them come to terms with the loss as part of the grieving process.

Technical Advisor

The Funeral Director is somone specially trained to deal with the problems involved in arranging a funeral. They will advise on the many options the family have, and will try to tailor the funeral to their perticular needs and wishes. For most families, it will be the first time they have had to arrange a funeral and they will rely upon a professional to guide them in the right direction. This will also apply to the Reader, when advising them on content, including hymns, readings, and order of service.

Agent

As an agent, the Funeral Director is responsib;e for dealing with those people necessary for providing a full and complete funeral service. The church, crematorium, cemetery, doctors, ministers and grave diggers all need to be contacted and comfirmed in writing prior to the funeral. The Funeral Director will make all the necessery phone calls, arrange for, complete and deliver documentation, arrange for flowers, obituary notices in the local newspaper, and many other responsibilities that need not be obvious to the family at the time of making funeral arrangements.

The Funeral Director will also contact the local minister or Parish Office in the parish in which the deceased lived, to arrange conducting of the funeral sevice. This will include readings, homilies, poetry, music, and the order of service. Most ministers will be able to arrange counselling or Support Groups to assist the bereaved family. Depending on the arrangements within your parish office, you may be appointed to conduct the service. If so, you will need to contact the family, and arrange visit(s). This may also include hospital, hospice, or nursing homes.

Contractor

The Funeral Director is also responsible to make sure that all the family's wishes and requests are carried out. These can include: the provision of a coffin, vehicles for the funeral, staff, facilities for family, mortuary facilities for the deceased and many other services and products that one would expect a Funeral Home to provide.

Although these are the five basic functions, above all the Funeral Director should be caring, friendly, and dedicated to you and your loved one.

It is now becoming popular for people to arrange their own funeral outside of the Funeral Director, appointing their own minister or family friend. Permission must be sought from the incumbent, before a service can be conducted in their church. The incumbent may give permission for a Reader to conduct the service, but this will aquire the agreement and acceptence of the family. There are still some issues about women leading funerals, and sensitivity is necessary to overcome any objections.

Some Funeral Directors offer a funeral package that includes provision of a minister, but in many cases, including those where the family have no practiced religous beliefs, the Funeral Director will lead the service themselves. There has been a considerable increase in this procedure, due mainly to the flexibility, a Funeral Director can offer in leading the service.

As Readers, we have to be careful to conduct services in keeping with Church of England practice, sensitivity, and appropriateness. However, we do need to understand the needs of the family, and this will depend on a number of factors:
Age of the deceased - Baby, Young person, Elderly.
Music - pop, modern hymns (eg. Rutter), classic, sentimental.
Death in Tragic Circumstances - Suicide, Traffic Accident, Fire, Lengthy Illness, Murder
Estranged Families - Divorce, Adoption, Fostering, Osctracism
Travellers - Inter-marrying, Customs, Literacy
Children - ages, understanding, acceptance
Secret Societies - Masons, Buffalows, Odd-fellows

Alternative Funeral Arrangements

South Downs Natural Burial Site offers an alternative to the recognised and traditional Burial. It is advertised as a Beautiful Nature Reserve Woodland Site.

So what does this mean?

It accepts burials of people from all faiths and carries them out in a natural woodland site. You may chose your burial site and reserve double and family plots if required. Coffins are made of a strong cardboard material so allowing natural decomposition, and therefore makes the site sustainable for many years.

It is possible, by arrangement, to plant trees and flowers and so give a private garden appearance

This type of burial allows considerable flexibility in respect of how a family addresses the farewell. It also encourages the family to revisit the natural site without the encumbrance of headstones and gravestones. It is a place of quite reflection, and is particularly suited for families who have no particular religious beliefs. The scattering or burial of ashes can also take place, and once again, the family can carry this out in their own time and in their own special way.

More and more families are looking at different ways to deal with the farewell of their loved ones

Recently, I have been involved with the scattering and burial of ashes where the family made the casket, and the ashes scattered in two different places. Another family requested ashes to be buried near Butser Hill, on farmland they owned, having planted trees to surround the site. The service was conducted at 8pm to allow a family member to return to Canada early the next day.

As Readers, we are probably more likely to be asked to do something different, as some incumbants refuse to take services that are not of the traditional nature. The only guidance I can give is that we are there to serve the needs of the family, but we must do so with the sensitivity and knowledge that we are Lay Ministers of the Church of England.
Always ensure that if you are asked to do something different to the norm, that you seek your incumbent's permission and during an interregnum, the permission of the Rural Dean.